William Aries

William's Astrological Chart

Rising sign: (persona) Scorpio
You are quiet, reserved, secretive, with deep emotions and feelings. You are very resourceful and formidable when you're upset. You enjoy living life at the cutting edge - for you life must be experienced intensely and totally. You're quite courageous and are willing to take calculated risks. Sensitive and curious, you are concerned with the deeper mysteries of human psychology, and you pursue subjects you're interested in with total fanaticism.

Sun: (character/identity) Aries
You are energetic, high-spirited and fiercely independent. You are the one who will rush in where angels fear to tread. You are an enthusiastic leader and a reluctant follower.

Moon: (emotional nature) Cancer
You are very strong and emotionally secure. You intuitively know what to do to make others feel comfortable, loved, accepted and needed.

Mercury: (intellect) Aries
Very quick witted, you're known for being an independent thinker. You love to debate and argue, and are excellent at repartee and battles of wits.

Venus: (love) Aries
You are affectionate, but hate to be tied down.

Mars: (energy/drive) Pisces
Very sensitive and vulnerable. You are at your best when you act without your ego being important. You can be very unselfish and considerate of the needs of others.

Jupiter: (society/philosophy) Aquarius
Your personal growth occurs when you have the freedom to do things in new and interesting ways. You are an individualist, but you are also attracted to mass movements that emphasize social betterment and you will devote much time and energy to their efforts.

Saturn: (work) Virgo
Your life must be orderly and practical and full of known and familiar routines in order for you to feel comfortable.

Uranus: (change/individuation) Pisces
You are extremely idealistic and want to change society by completely reorienting its highest religious goals and aspirations.

Neptune: (ideals) Aquarius
You will idealize and even venerate the ability to remain detached as well as the ability to objectively analyze any given situation. There will be a concerted effort on your part to cure the ills of society as a whole.

Pluto: (transformation) Capricorn
For your entire generation, this is a period of intense change in the fabric of society. Many accepted institutions may pass away or be born anew. The good of the community as a whole will be stressed and individual rights may come under attack.

Psst: You can do a free chart here.

William's Numerology

You entered: william george xxxxxx
There are 19 letters in your name.
Those 19 letters total to 87
There are 8 vowels and 11 consonants in your name.

What your first name means:

German Male Resolute protector
French Male Determined protector
English Male Resolute protector; will

Your number is: 6

The characteristics of #6 are:

Responsibility, protection, nurturing, community, balance, sympathy

The expression or destiny for #6:

The number 6 Expression provides you a truly outstanding sense of responsibility, love, and balance. The 6 is helpful and ever conscientious, making you quite capable of rectifying and balancing any sort of inharmonious situation. You are a person very much inclined to give help and comfort to those in need. You have a natural penchant for working with the old, the young, the sick, or the underprivileged. Although you may have considerable creative and artistic talents, the chances are that you will devote yourself to an occupation that shows concern for the betterment of the community.

The positive side of the number 6 suggests that you are very loving, friendly, and appreciative of others. You have a depth of understanding that produces much sympathetic, kindness, and generosity. The qualities of the 6 make the finest and most concerned parent and one often deeply involved in domestic activities. Openness and honesty is apparent in your approach to all relationships.

If there is an excess of the number 6 in your makeup, you may exhibit some of the negative traits associated with this number. There may be a tendency for you to be too exacting and demanding of yourself. In this regard, you may at times sacrifice yourself (or your loved ones) for the welfare of others. In some cases, the over zealous 6 has difficulty distinguishing helping from interfering. You may have difficulty expressing your own individuality, because of involvement with responsibilities and causes. Like all with the Expression of the number 6, it's quite likely that you worry much too much.

Your Soul Urge number is: 1

A Soul Urge number of 1 means:

With a Soul Urge number of 1, you want to lead and direct, to work independent of supervision, by yourself or with subordinates. You take pride in your abilities and want to be recognized for them. You may seek opportunities to display your strength and usefulness, wanting to create and originate. In your desire to manage the big picture and the main issues, you may often leave the details to others.

The positive 1 Soul Urge is Ambitious and determined, a leader seeking opportunities. There is a great deal of honesty and loyalty in this character. If you possess positive 1 Soul Urge qualities, you are very attainment oriented and driven to success. You are a loyal friend and strictly fair in your business dealings.

The negative side of the 1 Soul Urge must be avoided. A negative 1 is apt to dominate situations and people; the home, the spouse, the family and the business. Emotions aren't strong in this nature. If you possess an excess of 1 energy, you may, at times, be boastful and egotistic. You must avoid being too critical and impatient of trifles. The great need of the 1 Soul Urge is the development of friendliness, and a sincere interest in people.

Your Inner Dream number is: 5

An Inner Dream number of 5 means:

You dream of being totally free and unrestrained by responsibility. You see yourself conversing and mingling with the natives in many nations, living for adventure and life experiences. You imagine what you might accomplished.

Psst: You can enter a name for numerology here.

***

There are several things here that speak to me - the protector, sacrificing himself for others, looking to give help and comfort to those in need. A leader, an idealist, someone who looks to reorder the world... If I believed in angels - I just might think God took him to be one. ;)

But the phrase that resonated most:

You dream of being totally free and unrestrained...

He is now.

He Said, She Said

We always cast an astrological chart for each of our babies when they're born.

I'm not a "believer" in astrology as a tool for prediction. But I do think, like anything, it can be used to see patterns in our lives and personalities. And most people who aren't "into" astrology don't understand that your birth chart involves a great deal more than just your sun sign (Aries, Aquarius, Scorpio, etc.) Your birth chart is different from the simple horoscope you read every day in the paper. It's actually a very detailed thing, and provides a great deal of information about someone. In some ways, it's like a snapshot, an image of the soul - or an image of the potential of the soul.

I wanted William's chart. I wanted to see what type of person he would have grown up to be, what his soul looked like at the moment of his birth.

But there was one problem. We didn't know what to use for his "birth" time... because he'd died before he was born. So M. started asking some more experienced astrologers their opinions, and this is what he wrote to me...

*** 

HE SAID:  

The consensus is just about unanimous from the astrologers in the astrology groups I've joined.William's birth time is the best choice.  I feel really angry because, to me, the first breath is so important, like breathing in the world and breathing in your life and connecting with your life...breathing in and saying YES to your life...and he didn't...he didn't do that or he didn't GET to do that.  

I don't know why the breath is so important to me...I mean, aside from the obvious.  I just can't imagine the selflessness of a little soul coming into the world wholly and completely as a gift for us, for others...just as a gift, maybe not "for" anyone or anything...just as a gift.  Maybe we all do, maybe we all come in that way before we take a breath and get bound up in the whole bittersweet mess of it...maybe we get mixed up in the world and have to remember what we really are before we die.  Maybe there are other ways to say YES besides our breath, and maybe there are other ways to breathe, I don't know.  Sometimes saying YES to this, to life, just really hurts. 

And you told me to breathe and let go. 

Part of it is anger that some people don't feel he was alive, or even really "born," if he didn't take a breath.  As a father, I feel I failed him and I failed in general if he wasn't able to say his YES.  One of the first marks man ever left was his hand print...I am so incredibly grateful to you for giving me that drum. We have pictures and locks of hair and ashes...but the thing that holds the most of him for me, the most energy and  power, I suppose, is his hand print on my drum...and his feet prints.  He was here, in this world.  He made his mark.  Death didn't win.  Death didn't stop life.  He lived inside you...his full life...and he made his mark in the world...not the hand print, but his mark.  Death didn't stop life.  It's the best way to die for an Aries, doing that, knowing that.  There is nothing that can ever erase that YES. 

A lot of people have said and written a lot of things to me about William, but the one that has touched me the most has been something so simple...just this morning, one of the astrologers who responded to my question about stillbirth birth times in one of the groups simply wrote..."How very sad, M. "  Haven't been able to stop crying or swallowing down tears since. 

***

SHE SAID: 

He did breathe - through me. I was his breath. 

His YES was the moment you and I joined and said YES to one another. His YES was every moment he spent living and growing and exploring the inside of my womb. He made his presence known to me from his tenth week of life - I think he wanted me to know him, to feel him, as soon as possible. Nine months is an eternity on the outside. Three whole seasons. Why wouldn't it be, too, on the inside? What difference? He opened his eyes, he felt us poking him, massaging him, he heard our voices... all within me. He swallowed fluid, and "practiced" breathing - his chest rose and fell, even in the womb. 

And his heart did beat. For nine months. It did.

And he will, literally, always be a part of me. He's in my blood. 

I love you.

And it is sad, M. So very, very sad.  

***  

HE SAID: 

"His YES was the moment you and I joined and said YES to one another." 

That's the best answer.  That's a full circle...inhalation and exhalation.