We have decided to stop trying.
It's not a decision I came to easily. Really, I think the decision was made for me, and I was the last one to notice. I'm not in control - of my body or my life or anyone's life. It just isn't up to me.
Still, reaching for a golden ring and missing, again and again, just hurts too much.
Eventually, even I realize when I'm banging my head against a wall.
I wish it felt better to stop, as it does with walls and heads. But so far... no luck. Just more hurt.
Yeah, I should be used to it by now.
