The Report

The doctor's report arrived in the mail today.

I'd requested it along with all the other medical records, but the doc hadn't signed off on it yet, so they said they'd mail it as soon as she had. 

Nothing new, really, although that nuchal cord was mentioned again: 

"There was a tight nuchal cord that was noted and reduced."  

On the placenta report, it says "tight nuchal cord x2." 

Would be nice to know it was that - a tight cord, a freak accident. No one seems to think so, though.

I read the whole report and made it through. It wasn't easy, but I did it.

The worst parts: 

This was a male infant with Apgar scores of 0 and 0 at one and five minutes respectively. 

and 

In summary, this was a morphologically normal appearing male infant. The patient and her husband were consoled appropriately. Spiritual counseling was offered and declined. They were allowed to bond with the fetus.  

As I folded it up and put it back in the envelope, I found myself wondering if the person who transcribed the report thought about what they were typing? Was this just another report? Did they feel anything when they came across the words, "the patient was delivered of a stillborn infant at 2213 hours?" 

Did they imagine my baby, our family, our pain? 

I know I would.