I can't do Easter without thinking of William.
We colored eggs and I remembered doing them last year, trying not to cry the whole time. I was only days into my losing him. I also remembered how I didn't buy him anything for Easter. I sat there and thought to myself... did I know somehow that I wasn't going to bring a baby home?
But the hardest part of Easter to me is the "He is Risen!" part. Because while I get the whole metaphor of eternal life... the point is, Jesus got to come back. According to the story, he rose again, walked around, talked, ate, slept, and did all-things-human after his death.
God is such a tease.
And when I think about communicating with "God" or whatever energy is out there, as my extended family is wont to do on this holiday... I just want to say, "Dude, don't talk to me. YOUR son got to come back."
How fair is that?
Not.
5 comments:
fair? Nothing, absolutely nothing seems fair to me.
I quarrel with concepts of being master of my own destiny, and the devine uber person is something like crutch I chucked a long while back.
But I believe in love and in support and holding a hand.
Sorry for your NOT
sending love
Ines
100% agreed.
hug......
*hugs* not fair at all. I struggle with this as well
I am a believing Christian, but I'm not going to disrespect you by saying all those things you don't want to hear.
But the unfortunate thing about this world is that it is anything but fair. Most of the time it downright sucks actually. I wish it were fair, and that only the old died when they had lived a long life. If so, I'd have my Cora back too.
(((hugs))) to you.
I know---anybody who's lost a child in any capacity knows a lot about the term "unfair" and I'm sorry you've had to experience this as well. If its any consolation---you're not alone. Thinking of you.
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