I took a pregnancy test again, just because I'm crazy and like to see that reassuring line getting darker. Besides, I have a million of the things, and I wouldn't need them anymore... right?
So I peed on a stick one more time and waited to see the magic-line...
But there was no line.
Not even the faint line I'd seen a few days before. No line at all.
Stark. White. Nothing.
I told myself it was a faulty test. I would take another one tomorrow and it would be fine, nice and dark, and all the crazy-talk in my head about losing this baby would go away.
But now I'm bleeding.
And there is no more baby.
M. is installing a new stove today. Well, a new-to-us stove, bought from Craig's List after a power surge last week fried the control board in ours. Unfortunately, it doesn't work. He came into the bathroom, all frustrated and sad, where I was staring at that snow-white test, and said to me, "I think I just lost us $175."
I looked at him and said, "I just lost us a baby. I win."
And we all lose.
Game over.
47 comments:
I'm so sorry. I wish I could somehow magically make it better for you, the baby AND the stove. :( It's so unfair.
Oh no...I am so very, very sorry. Thinking of you and sending you hugs. Loss of a child at any stage hurts, so sorry you're going through this again.
This is just so sad. I'm so sorry.
I'm so sorry for your loss again.
Oh, I am so sorry. This really sucks. Really, really sucks.
Thinking of you and your family right now
Oh sweetie... I'm so sorry. So very sorry. Sending hugs and warm thoughts...
Nothing I could say will make you feel better. Just know I'm pissed at the universe for you right now. I'm tired of seeing baby lost moms in pain and getting more grief piled on. Though it won't help, I am very sorry. Thinking of you & your babies.
((hugs))
Im just so sad and so MAD for you. Its unfair. so unfair.. grrrrr
I am so, so sorry. The same thing just happened to me a few weeks ago. It is so frustrating, however, the hurt of losing my girls overshadowed the loss of the new life we had created. I hope you are able to find some peace in your heart. Thinking of you. x
I'm so sorry. It isn't fair. The same thing happened to me in June. Thoughts, prayers, and hugs for you. :(
:( So sorry.
Oh no. Oh Inanna.
I'm so terribly, terribly sorry.
Thinking of you and your family. xo
I'm so sorry to hear your sad news. Thinking of you x
Crap. I'm so sorry :(. You know a few days ago I was envious of your news. I was happy and envious. Now I'm just downright sad for you. That's so not fair.
x
(http://allthelittleponies.blogspot.com)
I could just copy past what Bir said. And I felt so guilty.
Oh, Inanna, I'm just so sorry. I want to just kick and shout and cry.
much love xxx Ines
I'm so sorry. (((Hugs)))
Oh sweetie, I am just so very very sorry. Sending prayers of healing.
:( I'm so sorry. It's not fair. xoxo
I'm so, so sorry.
I took a pregnancy test about 8 weeks after Desmond died- I had been sleeping and heard a voice say that part of the way I would be comforted is that I am already pregnant. I woke up immediately, and took a test (even though it was the wrong time of the month...). There was a faint positive line! Desmond's first pregnancy test was a faint positive. I showed my husband, and he doubted it. I waited until the morning and took another, and it was negative. I took several more, and they were all negative. I don't think I was ever really pregnant.
I was very angry at the universe for months.
I am so sorry that you are no longer pregnant, and that another little one slipped away into the darkness.
I'm so sorry. I've been through this more times than I can count. I also lost 3 to miscarriage after Jack died (and several before). Grieve, but don't lose sight of that hope. Get it back.
I am so sorry. It is painful at any stage, and I am so, so sorry.
I'm so sorry...so very sorry.
sending you much love..
I am so sorry.
So very sorry....there are no words to express how sad I am to hear your news. I was so very very happy for you. You deserve better.
So sad. I'm so so sorry. Sending hugs...
i'm so sorry. this is very sad. hugs to you. :(
I am so sorry hun! You should not be going through this! My heart hurts for you! I wish I could climb through the scteen and give you a big hug!
I'm sorry dear.
I'm so sorry. I wish one loss got us a free pass through the next one.
I am so, so sorry. I just heard the news and I'm just so sorry. That's a terrible, horrible thing to hear.
I am sorry! This sucks. Big hugs your way.
(Can you switch the control panels in the stove??)
I am so sorry. Wishing you peace and strength!
I just read this and I'm so very sorry.... when I miscarried in April, it was 4 days after we discovered we were pregnant, so I know a little of how you are feeling. I'm so sorry for your loss.
Love,
Rhonda xo
I'm sending you a million hugs. Soon. It will be soon.
I'm sorry.
- Rachele
The control panel on the stove was more than buying a new stove (well, a new-used-stove)... so we went to Craig's list. Of course, caveat emptor... *sigh*
Thank you, everyone, for your words... I wish it had turned out differently... but I've been wishing that since William died... if only wishes made any damned difference at all...
I'm soo so sorry honey
I'm so sorry. Now words I type here will take away your pain but know you're not alone.
I went through something very similar extremely recently, I'm yet to acknowledge it though, still living in denial because I know my heart just can't handle it at the moment.
Hugs
xxx
Oh, honey, I am sorry. It is terrible that you have to go through this, but, as others have said, you're not alone.
I, too, have had this happen, and it's terrible. I'm so, so sorry.
(((hugs)))
I'm so sorry.
I've never quite been able to get my head around my chemical pregnancies, but I've never doubted they were real losses.
Love to you and M. for the compounded losses you're feeling right now.
-C.
Sorry
I am so very sorry. That feeling of disbelief and heartache sucks.
So sorry.
I'm so sorry. I wish so badly you were pregnant. I think how hard it was to get pregnant this last time, then to get pregnant and to lose him in the end. I want to do it all again, but do I want to really? It's hard (NOW I feel this way) to GET pregnant, STAY pregnant and then bring home the baby. Keep trying. I know it will happen for you.
Hugs...
Christy
You literally took the thoughts right out if my head. Glad Im not alone in my feelings. *Hugs*
I'm so sorry.
Oh sweet one. I wish I had words to say. I only have hugs. *angel hugs*
Post a Comment