Two Months

Today is my daughter, Z.'s, 8th birthday. It's also the two-month anniversary of William's death.

On top of that Z. is sick and can't really enjoy it. Although she's giving it the old college try! She's got a fever, but insisted on going to school, since we bought cupcakes and everything. So I loaded her up with Ibuprofen and sent her. What a horrible mom I am. Daddy delivered her cupcakes mid-day with another dose of fever-reducer, and she came home sunny and bright, but slowly wilted as another dose of medicine came due. Definitely some sort of bug.

I received some very kind words today, two months after William's stillbirth. I was amazed how many people remembered and reached out. It was really heartening.

And then... *sigh*

This past weekend, we went to my mother-in-law's for Z's bday, and my mother-in-law sent us home with two baby dolls to wrap for Z.'s b-day from her collection (she's trying to downsize) which was very nice of her.

Today, she calls. I think she's calling to either a) wish Z. happy birthday (which it's early for... they're still in school) or b) to acknowledge that it's been two months since William died.

Nope, neither.

She says she knows Z. likes the dolls you can dress up and change better than the just "sit on the shelf" kind. The two she sent home could be either, really. She suggests I go into my dead son's bedroom, find some "gender neutral" baby clothes, and give those to my daughter for her new baby dolls.

I just sat there blinking at the phone. Really? You want me to do...what?

I said, "I don't think so."

Her response? "Well... you're not using them!"

I just hung up.